Orgasm Guaranteed, No Partner Required

Orgasm Guaranteed, No Partner Required

Ten Reasons Sex Toys are Better Than Relationships

Sex toys are often viewed as “taboo”, or as guilty pleasures most would choose not to admit indulging in.  People don’t talk about them much, and when they do, they're in denial about their appeal.

Many of us know what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who is entirely unconcerned with pleasing us both sexually, and emotionally.  What could possibly be appealing about that for you?  I can’t think of much.  If you’re in a relationship with someone who puts minimal effort into satisfying or pleasing you, undoubtedly, you’re going to feel disappointed or frustrated.

Thankfully, WAY back, ages ago, in the Paleolithic era, also known as the “Stone Age”, the first sex toy ever was created.  It might have just been a dildo simply made of carved rock, but without it, we couldn’t possibly have begun to develop the industry we now have today.

Sex toys offer assistance in becoming a master of your own sexuality.  Even if you have a partner who treats you with love and respect, relationships are a great amount of work… Which is precisely why sex toys are undoubtedly better than being tied down.  (Hey now, not in the literal sense.  That’s a lot of fun!  And an entirely different subject all in itself.) 

You know what doesn’t make you spend the weekend in the suburbs with its mother, or make you pick up after it on a regular basis because it’s too lazy to do so itself?  A sex toy, that’s what.  It’s the ultimate way to declare your independence while still getting some on the side, if you know what I mean. 

Let's just be honest with ourselves and each other:  Vibrators and other sex toys are becoming increasingly prevalent.  They make both being single, and being taken more fun.  Sex toys are here to stay, unless of course we invent an Adonis for every woman and an Aphrodite for every man.  Until then, here’s why sex toys are better than relationships. 

  1. Your vibrator will never leave you awkwardly at 8AM to do the walk of shame.

  2. Your “Fleshlight” can be whoever you want it to be, and you will never feel guilty about it.

  3. You'll never have to worry about a sex toy giving you any unwanted gifts. 

  4. Sex toys don't need to learn our likes and dislikes, they just know.

  5. Although it won’t talk dirty, it also won’t talk period. Ahh, total BLISS!

  6. If you're diligent with battery charges, your vibrator won’t ever finish early.

  7. Sex toys aren't scared of commitment... and they won't try to coerce you into it either.

  8. Have you SEEN a penis lately?!

  9. Pocket Masturbators don't get jealous when someone else peaks your interest.

  10. A sex toy won’t ever have abnormal fetishes that leave you running as far and fast away as possible.

BONUS:  Umm, hello?  Do we even really need a reason?  They feel good!

Sex toys have always been, and will continue to be “at your service.”  Can you ever really say that about a relationship you’re in?  The best part is, in this day and age, you won’t actually have to carve one yourself.  Getting a new “toy” really is as simple as a few clicks on

Disclaimer:  This post was MOSTLY meant to be sarcastic.  Obviously, human connection is a wonderful thing.  But so are battery powered orgasms.  That being said, sometimes you just want to do you.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Keep it Surreal -- K


Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published